Reposted from Tim Richardson

The Things That Make Us Grow

When was the last time you deliberately did something that made you uncomfortable?

Not something reckless or unsafe, but something that stretched your confidence, challenged your assumptions, or required you to become a beginner again. Growth rarely happens when we stay inside the familiar. It happens when we are willing to take a step into the uncomfortable and discover that we may be more capable than we thought.

When was the last time you really stretched yourself?

When did you force yourself to do something uncomfortable?

What was the internal dialogue like before you tried something new?

I imagine it was uncomfortable. Maybe you never tried at all. Maybe you talked yourself out of it before you even began.

I recently finished reading The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter for the second time. In the book, Easter encourages us to push ourselves physically and mentally by participating in a misogi.

A misogi is a difficult challenge that pushes us beyond what feels comfortable. It should be hard enough that success is not guaranteed, but it should also be done safely. The point is not to prove something to others. The point is to discover what we are capable of when we stop letting comfort set the boundaries of our lives.

When we intentionally put ourselves on “hard mode” for a day, ordinary stressors can begin to feel more manageable. Traffic, a difficult email, or a delayed flight may no longer feel like an emergency. Easter explains that when we lack real challenges, our minds can move the goalposts. Small inconveniences can begin to feel like major crises. By choosing a meaningful challenge, we can reset our perspective.

It is certainly easier to do the things that make us comfortable. Yet growth often comes from taking on the things we fear most or the things that make us feel especially uncomfortable.

If the physical side of a misogi seems too difficult, consider beginning with a mental or emotional stretch. You might overcome a fear of public speaking, learn a new language, explore your artistic side through painting, ballroom dancing, or writing, or try something you have convinced yourself you could never do Consider overcoming a fear of public speaking, learning a new language, exploring your artistic side through painting, ballroom dancing, or writing, or trying something you have convinced yourself you could never do.

Tonight, I am doing something I could not have imagined doing just a few years ago. I am performing jazz piano in public.

Though I played piano through my mid-teens, I couldn’t fathom ever performing jazz piano for others. In high school, I joined the jazz band as a horn player, though I was not very good.

I could play a jazz riff and read music reasonably well. I learned one blues scale and played it repeatedly, never bothering to learn it in different keys. I could play a basic 2-5-1 progression, for those who know jazz music, but I did not learn much beyond that.

About 10 years ago, while listening to a jazz trio, I worked up the nerve to approach the young pianist. I asked her if she gave lessons. She was an outstanding musician and a serious student of jazz piano who had studied with a legendary instructor. I began working with her a short time later. Though I had always wanted to perform, the thought terrified me. I still remember the first few times I played in public and the feelings of inadequacy that came with it. I told myself I did not have the skills. I compared myself to musicians who were far better than I could ever hope to be.

Those voices can easily sideline us.

We have to learn to quiet the voices that tell us not to try. We have to remember that everyone starts somewhere.

Isn’t that true in almost every area of life?

When we believe we do not have the right skills, experience, training, or confidence, it is easy to let that internal dialogue determine whether we take action.

It is easy to keep doing the things for which we already have experience and confidence. The greater opportunity may be in the things that are newer, harder, and a little more uncomfortable.

What is one thing you have been talking yourself out of trying?

Maybe it is time to take the first step.

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